I Might Have A Problem

My little foray into experimental serial dating has taught me a few things already. One of which is that I don’t like the term serial dating, so henceforth, it shall be known as Ascertaining Compatibility Through Scientific Blind Testing of Repeated Interactions in a Controlled Environment. No? Too long? That’s what she said.

I’ve also discovered an entire plethora of experiences that a single person would never be able to give to me. Or, maybe he would, but I don’t wanna play. I like this. I like the varied personalities and interactions I am taking part in. I don’t think I want anything to become too serious. Not anytime soon. I’ve been burned too much, too frequently, and too recently to want any single person I’m getting to know to become the one and only that I spend my time with. I don’t actually want to change my single status. This is fun and completely lacking the pressure that comes with getting to know men.

I’ve currently weeded through the onslaught of male suitors. There’s still more coming, but I’m only interested in roughly one in ten. That’s actually a tremendous improvement over how I would talk to maybe one in fifty. When you’re not trying to locate your prince, the frogs can be extraordinarily entertaining so long as they don’t have too many warts.

I’m currently up to emailing with four different men. I have not given my cell number or other personal information out even though I was asked. I’m just not ready for that level of commitment.

I am, however, texting and ready to meet a lovely man with a killer sense of humor, a handle on spelling and grammar, very successful in life in general, owns his own business, and is just as busy as I am. He’s also fitting a couple other things that I find so rarely such as being rather gentle with a dominant streak. He kind of took charge in a non threatening way by deciding he would set the time and location for our initial date after I accepted the offer, and little cues tell me he’ll be the more commanding type which a woman with a strong personality really digs. My gawds, I hope I’m right.

Then on Wednesday, I’m having my first date with another gentleman. I don’t know much about him, really. I just know he keeps making me laugh, so I agreed I’d meet with him at the park while his daughter plays. He took the threatening part of it out and showed me he’s okay with the casual ambiance I’m seeking by deciding we should sit on a park bench as friends and just get to know each other face to face. That means absolutely NO pressure whatsoever. I likey.

Sunday afternoon, I’m having my tarot read by a friend who was exceptionally right in our last reading which happens to be the night we met. He was part of the catalyst that sent me back to college because he said I needed to quit putting it off and go. He said my venture would be successful, and he said I have spent my entire life doing the things that won’t bring me joy for the long term. He was right. He didn’t even know college was something I’ve put off more than once, he just saw it in my cards.

I’m open to all these new experiences and taking things more nonchalantly. I’m trying to not direct my life to the point I’ve become too aggressively dominating. It’s time to just be in the present in every sense of the word. Life happens no matter how you direct it.

I feel free, unencumbered, alive, and as if my life is going exactly where it’s supposed to. I’m having fun and laughing so much my stomach starts to hurt. I have already allowed my original goal in serial dating to morph into something more fluid and natural. I thought by serial dating, I would eventually stumble upon someone fantastic simply by removing the habits I’d always practiced previously when agreeing to give someone a chance. Now, I want nothing more than to enjoy the company of interesting men without any intent to ever choose just one. I don’t want to feel this freedom disappear. I am my own person who refuses to take any more shit from any more people. I’m following my dreams and hopes and allowing myself to realize I do what I need to do to provide what I need to have, and that’s as a completely independent spirit.

Sure, maybe someone will come along that captures me without me realizing it’s happening, but I know for certain he’d have to be the most spectacular man in the world to change my stance on relationships at this point. I suppose, in essence, that’s exactly what I intended from the beginning.

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