I’ve begun to think perhaps I’m doing or saying something wrong in my serial dating experiment because too many misinterpret what I’m trying to accomplish. So I went in search of All Things Serial Dating on the big ol’ web, and what I came across really just pissed me off. Let’s take, for example, what eHarmony has to say about serial daters, shall we?
“Hooking up routinely with Mr. and Ms. Right Now, knowing fully that they are not the marrying kind is a recipe for disaster. Serial daters take up with “fillers” until something better comes along, but nothing does. So there they stand, afraid to be alone but mortified by the idea of being spending the rest of their lives with the person they’re with.”
First of all, does anyone else notice the grammatical error here? For shame, for shame, writers-of-bullshit at one of the largest online dating sites.
So here’s the actual truth, son. Listen up, you old fogies at eHarmony!
Fact. Serial dating does not equate to hooking up. Dating is dating, taking the penis in various ways is hooking up. The two are not synonymous.
Fact. It’s only a recipe for disaster to serial date when people are too damn stupid to grasp the concept of serial dating. IE: I am not just dating you, I am dating others, too. I am not committing to you, we just met. I am merely wanting to go on adventures with people of varying personalities and enjoy my life.
Fact. None of the men I choose to spend time with are “fillers”. I have specifically chosen the only one who has passed the muster because he fits my needs very well. He’s not a filler, I’m actually really excited to have him in my life right now. He’s fun as hell.
Fact. I am not afraid to be alone. I do it very well. I can pay my bills, entertain myself, and make myself explogasm whenever I want to relieve some needs. That doesn’t REQUIRE another person. The fact I want to spend time with other people is because I’m social and like going to movies with another person or out to eat or to sit and talk about the most random of things because that’s FUN.
Fact. If someone rises above the pack, I’d be a moron to not take notice. This is not escapism. This is not fear. This is not filling my time. I wouldn’t run away from something substantial because that’s another adventure worth having. I just don’t put much stock in that happening. So instead of waiting for something cinematic, I’m creating my own adventures.
Look, I read a book once that said women should serial date indefinitely until a man makes her take notice. That women are the gentler species, we become attached too easily, we are too quick to commit. It stated that men should EARN the heart of a woman, and we should make them do that. Plus, it’s highly beneficial to have plenty of experiences that teach us about ourselves and what we can and cannot tolerate in a partner. How will you know for sure if you shackle yourself to the first guy who may or may not want to stick around longterm? I mean, if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that men will tell you anything you want to hear in the moment. And they’ll always be highly complimentary to those they are pursuing at the present time. But those words are just words until proven. A woman would be (and has been more than once) a completely naive moron to start falling for a guy before he’s proven he’s everything he says he is.
Them’s the facts, son.
So no matter what eHarmony has to say about it, I say serial dating is quite effective. Currently, it’s only effective at weeding out the losers before I get too far, but hey! Isn’t that the whole point? Well, that and finding a way to enjoy myself without becoming too jaded. The task just keeps getting harder.