I recently scrapped all proposed dates because there’s only so much asininity one girl can handle. I revamped my ad, took some time to recollect my thoughts, and have just now started talking to a couple different guys that might possibly not be insane. They probably are if history repeats itself as it so often does.
I went out on a couple dates that weren’t dates recently. The first was Jinx, that tatted up nerd with everything I dig except physical connection. I just don’t want to mount him and ride away into the sunset, but that’s okay. I’ve made one stellar friend, and I don’t think we can ever have too many of those.
So we went to Beer Mongers and enjoyed some crafty goodness and veggie burgers before heading off to watch Ant-Man which I highly recommend. There was much laughter as we celebrated an A on my Algebra exam, and I thought more than once how unfortunate it is that there isn’t that kind of chemistry. I mean, everything else is there. Not fair.
And then I went out with Mr. Yesterday. Again, not a date. We ALSO went to Beer Mongers because while I was out with Jinx, Mr. Yesterday was texting me and decided that’s where he’d like to go with me when we got together. He was exhausted. I was exhausted. It was our shortest date in the entire history of us at only a little over three hours. I still have to remind myself more than once each time we get together that he lost his romantic interest in me overnight. When I started to forget that this last time, I decided to ask him how things happened with his ex…you know, the one he chose over me when she reappeared in his life. It’s probably a little sadomasochistic, but it helps me move forward by inflicting just enough pain on myself to keep my mind clear and level. And I sat there thinking, “THIS girl was preferable to ME?” which involves my ego and keeps me indignant enough to not burst out with questions about why I held his interest for a time then all interest suddenly dissolved. I’m curious, but not curious enough to have that conversation.
This isn’t one of those deep, meaningful blogs where I discuss all this inner turmoil that I’m going through. I’ve had quite the run of emotions and growth and setbacks, but this week isn’t dealing with those. This week I made an A on an exam that I really didn’t expect to ace. I had drinks with friends and worked and went roller skating and saw a movie and fixated on homework and binged on Star Trek Voyager on Netflix. It was good and low key and reset me a bit. I’m not soul searching currently. I’m just existing. And sometimes it’s okay to just exist.